How to get pregnant, in a perfect world
In a perfect world, we would always make the right decisions all the time. We would always make the choices that best increase the odds of us getting what we want. If you want to know the secret of how to get pregnant, you have to first recognize that the right answer is not the same for everybody. Think back to the times in your life that you wanted something to change. You wanted a new car, but didn’t yet have enough money to afford one. You wanted a good job, but had not found one yet. You wanted that boy in your calculus class to notice you and ask you out, buy he hadn’t yet. Whenever we are faced with wanting things to be different from the way they are now, it comes down to two alternative choices:
- Continue doing things the way you are doing and wait for it to happen.
- Change the way you are doing things.
This applies to everything in life including the question of how best to get pregnant. For some people, the best answer is to just keep doing what you’re doing (going about your daily life, having regular sex without using contraception) and wait patiently until you eventually get pregnant. For other people, the best answer is go see a doctor right away and get started on ovulation medications or have surgery to remove that fibroid from inside your uterus or get medical help to treat your hormonal abnormality. So, how do you know which choice is the best one for you? Well, not only is the right answer different for different people, the right answer is different for the same person at different times. For example, if you and your husband decided in October to stop birth control and to try and get pregnant, the right thing to do would be to just have sex two to three times a week and wait for pregnancy to come. For about 80% of you, pregnancy will come within eight months. So if you were to ask me back then, in October “What should I do to get pregnant?”, my advice would be to do what human beings have done for hundreds of generations, just have sex. However, suppose you follow this plan and next August comes around (ten months later) and you’re still not pregnant. Now if you were to ask me again “What should I do to get pregnant, the answer would change from “just have sex” to “consider getting medical help”. So what factors should you consider when deciding whether you continue the “BE PATIENT KEEP TRYING” strategy or switch to the “TAKE ACTION DO SOMETHING.” strategy? There are FOUR important factors:
- AGE: Because the health of a woman’s eggs changes over time, it is more acceptable to take the slow patient approach when you’re younger than when you are older.
- DURATION: The more time that has passed without you getting pregnant, the more you should consider taking action, rather than continuing to try on your own.
- SUSPICION: If you have abnormal periods, or if you suspect your husband has a sperm problem or if you have a history of gynecological issues such as endometriosis or pelvic infections or anything that makes you suspect that your fertility is impaired, then you should probably seek help sooner than later.
- PRIORITIES AND PERSONAL BELIEFS: On one extreme, if you absolutely insist on getting pregnant “naturally” and have vowed that you would rather remain childless than step foot into a doctor’s office or take a single pill, then your decision would differ from that of another woman who’s mindset is that her life cannot go on unless she has a baby NOW, even if she has to sell a kidney to afford the world’s best treatment.
In future posts, we’ll look at each of these factors in greater detail. Remember. You are always making a decision. If you are choosing to keep trying on your own, rather than see a doctor, that choice is itself a decision. Your are choosing between sacrificing some of you hard-earned money to have a baby vs sacrificing one more month passing by from your limited fertile years.
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