My work place is hazardous. This is all because of our patients’ generosity. We receive on average, well over ten gifts of sweets every month, culminating near Christmas time in a tumultuous onslaught of donuts, boxed chocolates, goodie baskets and other random acts of sugar. It is heartwarming to know that our patients are truly generous in spirit, but it is also a tremendous test to our will power to resist the urge to continuously sample the decadent treats that are ALWAYS readily available. Our friends and families are well aware of our bounty because whenever things pile up to the breaking point, we start taking things home rather than throw anything away. We once came up with this bad idea of putting the candy out in our waiting room with a sign saying “Please help yourself”. However, it didn’t take much common sense to realize that this wasn’t a good idea. We might as well have put it out with a sign saying “Please allow us to further impede your fertility by adding to your body fat.”
Today, I’m back after the holiday break and I see our break room has five boxes of unopened chocolates remaining. I’m still without a good plan what to do with it all. Do we just buckle down and start working on finishing it all, piece by piece? Do we donate it to the next person we see begging on the side of the freeway ramp? If only we could ship it to the kid in Willy Wonka whose grandfather had to save up for a year to afford him one precious candy bar.
By the way, I should very importantly add that the average BMI of our entire office staff is an amazingly trim 21.4!!! And that’s counting my own contribution of 24.8 as the highest one. I guess the hectic pace at which their jobs keep them racing burns off a lot more calories than is readily imaginable. I know for a fact, that I’m not the one in the office eating the bulk of all that candy.
Anyway, I have no right to speak on behalf of other doctors’ offices. Maybe they want more and more chocolate. But as for us, I would make a request that in the future, patients can show gratitude and appreciation by giving us cards or notes written from the heart, rather than chocolate. But if you INSIST on giving us chocolate, can you at least make it either chocolate-covered strawberries or Assorted Nuts and Chews? Thank you very much.