May 18, 2012

Having a baby on your own vs settling for Mr. OK-but-Not-Perfect

On my older blog, I shared a story about a woman who got tired of waiting to meet Mr. Right and instead chose to become a single-mother-by-choice through donor insemination. Hers was an especially happy story, because not only did she have a wonderful baby, she later wound up meeting a man, getting married and having another child with him.

I recently came across an article that tells a different story of another woman who also decided to become a single-mother-by-choice rather than settle for any of the guys she dated, because none of them were quite perfect enough. In her article, she openly wonders if she might have been better off just "settling".

I sent this article to a lot of my single friends, and not to any surprise, most of them disagreed with it (as did I). It’s still a consensus that no matter how strong of an argument is presented for people not to be so picky, there will still be a strong resistance to stubbornly hold out for Mr. Right. By the way, for one of my friends, she liked the article because it made her more appreciative of her current boyfriend, who although not everything she always dreamed, is a very solid guy. She’s going to give the relationship every chance to work, instead of restlessly looking for something "better".

So for all you married women undergoing fertility treatment, be thankful that you have at least found the man of your dreams father of your future baby

  • Naomi

    Life does not always work out the way we expect it to. I was married for 10 years. Now I’m 30, divorced and wondering about the future. 10 years ago, I was happy and in love. However, I’m come to realize, and believe, that I had just settled. There were many times when I thought my marriage wasn’t going anywhere, but stayed in for many reasons. The worst feeling of all is the 10 year lie and the constant feeling I was strung along for so long on what has turned out to have been our biggest issue.