I have nicknamed Andrea, one of my medical assistants, "The Empath".

 Before most of us were born, the original old old Star Trek series had an episode about a mysterious mute woman from another world. She had the power to absorb other people’s pain and injuries and transfer them to herself. She alleviated their suffering by taking the pain onto herself and enduring it. (If you have 50 minutes to spare, follow the link to the episode. You will see how different TV was back then. Great ideas + cheesy dialogue + laughable special effects. Compared to today’s lame concepts + lame dialogue + fancy special effects)

Our patients come to us having suffered through infertility, sometimes for years and years. The curative process itself of getting a baby is fraught with stress and pain, both mental and physical. It’s natural for patients to subconsciously look for an escape valve to shoot off their negative emotions. So often, they vent it onto their spouses, which is definitely not a good thing for the marital relationship. Other times, they vent it onto myself or more often, onto my staff since they are in the direct line of fire. I’m very proud of my staff as they have gotten very disciplined at recognizing this in certain patients and handling it very professionally and compassionately. Bear in mind not all patients need it as much, as many have a natural tendency to bring their own private supply of optimism and good cheer. But for those who have the need to vent, we are ready.

Often, patients just need someone to listen and validate that what they’re feeling is normal. However, every once in a while, sad to say, they can get outright MEAN. I’ve seen patients bring in their box of medications and scream at my staff for failing to order a certain drug, when all along it was in the box right in front of them. I’ve seen patients accuse our staff of scheduling their appointment on the wrong day, but when we all looked at the appointment slip they pulled out of their pocket, the date WAS correct all along. This confusing phenomenon represents the subconscious channeling of their anger onto the closest outlet, and occurs more commonly than most people realize. While we set limits on this if it really gets out of hand, we also have a high threshold for being willing to tolerate quite a bit when it is of benefit to our patients.

All our MA’s are kind and patient, but Andrea, in particular seems to be a magnet for the many hurricanes of emotional venting we encounter. I’ve witnessed her skillfully juggle being an attentive listener, balanced with the need to cut the visit short when necessary so she could attend to other patients who are waiting. Patients love her because they feel much better after talking with her. The patients feel better, but Andrea oftens comes away looking sad and drained. When I pointed out to her what was happening and called her an EMPATH, one of the other MA’s joked, "Andrea draws the pain from the patients onto herself and then vents it to the rest of us." So apparently our office has evolved into a mutually supportive, efficient tag-team empath system.

This compassion is something that is not easily taught, but is the exact thing that medical schools strive for when selecting the students of the future. We’re proud that nine of our former staff have left us to go on to prestigious universities for medical school, PA school or graduate studies in genetic counseling. I have no doubt that Andrea will join them some day.

Willingness to sacrifice ones own comfort and to suffer on another’s behalf is the truest display of love and compassion. With the recent passage of Easter, we are reminded of the world’s greatest example of such a sacrifice.