The nature of trust: Part 2 - Trusting your doctor
In a previous post, we discussed the general concept of TRUST. It might be helpful to read that before reading today’s piece. Now we’re ready to zero in on the specific topic of trusting doctors.
How do you come to trust your doctor?
Well, how do you come to trust ANYBODY? Simple. You take a tiny step, observe the other person’s actions and adjust accordingly.
So why is there the phrase "Trust me, I’m a doctor". Maybe there are some people who argue that there’s something inherently different about doctors. Some people might be falsely lulled into thinking that the rigorous selection processes of medical schools someone weeds out the less ethical people. Bah. Maybe some people think that the fact that we take an oath makes us more trustworthy. Even more ridiculous.
In reality, doctors should be treated as anybody else is. They SHOULD NOT BE, and ARE NOT, universally trusted any differently than those in any other profession. Just as it is not right to automatically MISTRUST people in certain professions such as used car salesmen, criminals or lawyers. We all have built-in biases based on two things - what we have personally experienced in the past and what we’ve been taught or told by friends, family or the media.
I’ve learned a lot over the years when I chose to go into business with a dentist, lawyer, accountant, hairstylist whatever. I try to slowly get to know them and give them a chance to prove themselves. If they do right by me, then I come to trust them more. If they do me wrong, then the trust erodes or even completely disappears. I’ll usually give people the benefit of a doubt at first, within the limits of what I have at risk. If I’m going to try some strange new restaurant, i don’t ponder it and research it. The risk of a unpleasant dining experience is a minimal loss. But if I’m going to entrust my entire retirement money to a certain investment, you can be sure that I’ll research it thoroughly.
Granted I realize that seeing a doctor is a much bigger investment than choosing a hairstylist, but my argument is that it’s not necessarily all THAT different. Some of my patients say they researched for weeks before deciding to make that first appointment with me. That is commendable, but not absolutely necessary. Is researching for 20+ hours really a smaller price to pay than a few hundred dollars consultation fee? I guess it’s different for everyone. My practice even offers a free meet-the-office session every month, where potential patients can come visit our office and meet us face-to-face. We don’t have many takers, but those who do end up visiting us eventually come see us as patients, almost universally.
Think of the way that trust develops. Trust is earned (or not earned) by people’s actions, not by their words alone. When deciding whether to enter into a business relationship with a lawyer, accountant, doctor, investment advisor, contractor, gardener, babysitter or whatever, we start out listening to their words, their promises. But it’s only one encounter at a time that we slowly begin to trust them.
I can speak best for my own field. When you are looking for an RE, all them will say on their website certain catch phrases such as “top expert” and “personalized care”. Some may even give objective data such as success rates, but those are often misleading or even outright lies. Words mean little in the end, because while the truly expert and truly caring practices will say that they are expert and caring, so will the poor-service places, and the average-care places. Everybody makes the same good-sounding claims.
This makes it tough for patients. You would think then that the only reliable way to know if you like a particular doctor is to try out his services, then to try out another doctor’s services and then to compare. This is not as difficult as it initially sounds and often times it is well worth the effort. I’ve had many patients come to me from other practices. I will hear from them what specifically dissatisfied them about the last doctor. When it goes the other direction and patient leave our practice to go elsewhere, I often try to find out what we could have done differently to keep their loyalty. Often, it’s something we can’t control, such as our being too expensive or too far in distance. But if it’s something that I can change, that I just didn’t think of, then it’s a positive thing because it helps guide us on how to further improve our practice. It’s especially satisfying when patients leave our practice to try another and then, end up coming back.
Our success these past years has depended a lot on word-of-mouth referrals. In this situation, we have gained the trust of person A because of the good care and good service we gave them. Then if there is a person B who trusts person A (either a friend or relative), then when person A gives their word of approval, person B comes to us already having some trust in us, sort of the Transitive Property of Trust. So this is the other way trust is earned, not by personal experience but by what someone whom we trust tells us.
Next time you do business with someone, whether it be your accountant, gardener or doctor, ask yourself whether or not your trust is being earned appropriately.
Do they things they say turn out to be true?
Do the promises they make turn out to be fulfilled?
Do you feel they have the appropriate balance of putting your best interests before theirs?
If not, then explore the options of seeing a different provider. You’ll be glad you did.
