Comments on: Not everybody wants children

By: margohelp

margohelp — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 02:25:04 +0000

had recently herpes virus found in my blood. what I haveto do??? I’m in panic…

By: IVF-MD

IVF-MD — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 18:24:54 +0000

Thanks for the comment, Valerie.
I have on occasion required patients to get cleared by a psychologist before proceeding. It would take something pretty obvious, but this octuplets mom would have fallen in that category. If somebody is just mean-tempered or lazy and maybe might not make the best parent because of that, that’s not enough for me to require psych screening. For reasons I can only speculate on, my practice tends to attract nicer, more stable, hard-working patients. I say this with a lot of inside knowledge from various sources about what patients are like at other practices.

Thanks for the knitting offer, but my Yorkie already has plenty of clothing. I would be a bit more hesitant to admit to that if I weren’t already so secure in my masculinity . By the way, I also have a german shepherd who could subdue an intruder in 10 seconds.

By: valerie

valerie — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 17:54:23 +0000

I found your site from a link on a page about the octuplets.

I have read a number of your posts on various topics. I enjoyed reading your posts, and I was reading to see if you mentioned anywhere any pre-screening before procedures are performed. Mainly, I was wondering about psychological screening for any patients that may throw a red flag up for doctors (ie. already has 6 children no husband no job no money except for what she is willing to spend on fertility treatments or if a plastic surgeon has a ‘frequent flyer’ patient).

I am a happy SAHM of 2 (and a wife to my husband). I don’t care if people choose to be child-free. I even understand why many do not want kids (I know that never wanted to have kids until a couple years after I graduated college). I found several of the CFBC statements to be rather extreme. The people that I know that are CFBC just don’t want kids because they don’t want kids. It is not to push any type of agenda.

Oh, BTW I am a ravelry.com member (I crochet). I never even knew we had a CFBC board. The ravelry site is predominately about all things yarn and yarn related crafts. You are still welcome to join. You could pick out a pattern for your yorkie:) and maybe start a group for raveler volunteers who want to make baby clothes for your success story patients.

By: MLO

MLO — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 17:18:25 +0000

There are also links from Ravelry’s Big Issues Debate forum (BID) where people were thinking that just because you do IVF you will have a baby – the octuplet mother’s fault. I thought I linked to the statistics post when I posted that.

Oh, and you do realize that there are doggie sweaters that could be knit for your Yorkie?

By: RobinM

RobinM — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 23:01:02 +0000

I also came over from Ravelry and I want to applaud you for your open-mindedness in your consideration of the fact that not all people want children, and that it’s perfectly OK to feel that way. So many of us (childfree) are attacked for our strong convictions that parenting is not for us – it is beyond irritating to have to explain and justify our choice when no one asks parents to justify theirs. We are called selfish, and I’ll agree to that characterization when parents admit that their choice to have children was selfish as well – we’re both doing what we want to do, and isn’t that the whole point of living life? It boggles my mind that some people can’t wrap their heads around the idea of living very happily childfree, and it makes me think they are less than secure in their own choices. Anyway, thanks for being so thoughtful and even-handed regarding your treatment of the issues.

By: KG

KG — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 17:37:06 +0000

I’m also from Ravelry and found your post extremely refreshing, especially given your profession. I have been going to the same GYN doctor (not just the practice, but a specific doctor) since I was 22. I am now 34. I got married at 26. Somewhere along the way, my husband and I decided we didn’t want children. Ever. I went to my gyn and asked about getting my tubes tied. She said she would never do it to someone my age (30 or 31 at the time) who has never had a child. She said I could change my mind. Sure, I could have gone to a doctor willing to do the procedure, but why should I have to? I had been going to her for at least eight years. I just love how “my body, my choice” applies when it comes to abortion but not to pregnancy prevention. My husband got a vasectomy 18 months ago. His doctor knew we were childfree and only required a 30 day waiting period. It was his first visit to this doctor.

By: G

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 14:48:13 +0000

“voluntary extinction”? What about the inevitable extinction that will result from continued overpopulation, depletion of resources, global warming, etc? Oh, I forgot – those arent real.

By: IVF-MD

IVF-MD — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 19:07:39 +0000

Elsteffo and Jennifer. Thanks for saving me the trip. I’ll cross off “future visit to knitting site” from my To-Do list, although the baby hat idea might be good for my Yorkie.

I have one curious question for you Elsteffo regarding the policy in Finland. Are they denying to PAY for the sterilization procedure unless you meet their guidelines? Or are you completely forbidden to arrange to get it done, even if you were to want it so bad that you’d pay for it on your own (I agree it’s not necessarily a good idea if you can get it paid for eventually).

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 18:29:34 +0000

The Ravelry links are from a childfree board on the site. Just to let you know. So far there’s not a lot of posts on it, just thoughts that you were polite enough to leave and that you are open-minded. So, no real need to join up if you don’t like to fight in yarn wars

By: Elsteffo

Elsteffo — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 18:28:21 +0000

Yep, I made it over here from Ravelry too! Are you going to choose the same username for yourself, that is, IVF-MD? We’ll all be very interested in seeing your creative knitting projects. Perhaps a knitted boob for a breast cancer survivor? Or a teeny hat for a preemie baby?
Haha, don’t mean to sound facetious, but I love the thought of non-crafters visiting Ravelry and discovering how OBSESSED we are with our sticks, hooks and string. We over at Ravelry can be a bit defensive about our beloved site, so I’ll put in the good word now on behalf of my stitching friends to say that once you get there, you’ll realise that it’s a lot more than just a “bulletin board” site. Oh my, yes.
And to actually comment about your post, I applaud you for taking the time to research ‘the dark side’ yourself, and also thank you for having such an open and non-biased mind about the issue.
On a personal note, I am frustrated with the law in Finland dictating that I must be over the age of 30 (or have at least two children of my own) before I can have any type of sterilisation procedure.