Comments on: Checking up to see if patients are telling the truth http://fertilityfile.com/2009/02/24/checking-up-to-see-if-patients-are-telling-the-truth/ The inside view from a reproductive endocrinologist Tue, 27 Dec 2011 11:04:49 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: IVF-MD http://fertilityfile.com/2009/02/24/checking-up-to-see-if-patients-are-telling-the-truth/comment-page-1/#comment-3650 IVF-MD Mon, 02 Mar 2009 21:55:20 +0000 http://fertilityfile.com/?p=496#comment-3650 Thanks, Robin. We are on the same wavelength. I would love nothing more that to be reassured that every child grows up in a fantastic home with loving "normal" parents, but on the other hand, I have to avoid being too judgmental either. Doctors are in a position where they can be overly paternalistic in some cases. I will also agree that the burden of responsibility for protecting children is greater when we RE's are involved and actively increasing the chances of pregnancy. But as an aside, I wouldn't mind policies for people who get pregnant NATURALLY to have accountability before being allowed to get free money. I have volunteered in orphanages in Mexico and I have to say, growing up in the loving environment there is way better than growing up with a meth-addicted welfare mom. Perhaps we can devise a compromise where moms who bear kids they can't care for be given a chance for regular visits, while the children grow up in a stable loving environment or a safely-run orphanage. Meanwhile, the moms could demonstrate motivation to get educated and work. The main problem is who would we get to design, run and supervise these orphanages. In Mexico, those were efficient Christian organizations, where the couple running it did it truly out of love and not for the sake of getting a fat government check per child. Thanks, Robin. We are on the same wavelength. I would love nothing more that to be reassured that every child grows up in a fantastic home with loving “normal” parents, but on the other hand, I have to avoid being too judgmental either. Doctors are in a position where they can be overly paternalistic in some cases. I will also agree that the burden of responsibility for protecting children is greater when we RE’s are involved and actively increasing the chances of pregnancy. But as an aside, I wouldn’t mind policies for people who get pregnant NATURALLY to have accountability before being allowed to get free money. I have volunteered in orphanages in Mexico and I have to say, growing up in the loving environment there is way better than growing up with a meth-addicted welfare mom. Perhaps we can devise a compromise where moms who bear kids they can’t care for be given a chance for regular visits, while the children grow up in a stable loving environment or a safely-run orphanage. Meanwhile, the moms could demonstrate motivation to get educated and work. The main problem is who would we get to design, run and supervise these orphanages. In Mexico, those were efficient Christian organizations, where the couple running it did it truly out of love and not for the sake of getting a fat government check per child.

]]> By: Robin http://fertilityfile.com/2009/02/24/checking-up-to-see-if-patients-are-telling-the-truth/comment-page-1/#comment-3648 Robin Mon, 02 Mar 2009 19:21:03 +0000 http://fertilityfile.com/?p=496#comment-3648 THANK YOU THANK YOU Dr. Lee. This isn't about you being suspicious and making sure because of the adults involved, this is about (at least from my prospective)protecting the child that is brought in to the world with any RE's help. You wrote above of some lawsuits that have occurred over this. OK fine, adults can sue, they can bicker, she took me for a ride with my sperm, now there's this kid I didn't have any say in bringing to earth but what about the child? Should any child be brought into the world through deceit and grow up knowing that? Someone has to stop concentrating on the rights of all child-bearing aged adults having the right to conceive willy-nilly. No I'm not saying sterilization or anything of the such nothing at ALL like that. But when one gets involved in the actual process and facilitates a child being brought forth I think it is absolutely incumbent on them to make sure this child is wanted by both parents, it's simply a moral issue, legality or not. As states are reacting with trying to bring forth legislation on this (Georgia and California just recently) I am beyond relieved in my heart to know that you and other RE's care enough about the outcome of their work, the life of a CHILD, to act in a LOVING and responsible manner towards preventing a possible tragedy. Nice basketball touch :) Just think, as soon as the child is old enough, he or she can throw hoops with a father who wanted him. THANK YOU THANK YOU Dr. Lee.

This isn’t about you being suspicious and making sure because of the adults involved, this is about (at least from my prospective)protecting the child that is brought in to the world with any RE’s help. You wrote above of some lawsuits that have occurred over this. OK fine, adults can sue, they can bicker, she took me for a ride with my sperm, now there’s this kid I didn’t have any say in bringing to earth but what about the child? Should any child be brought into the world through deceit and grow up knowing that? Someone has to stop concentrating on the rights of all child-bearing aged adults having the right to conceive willy-nilly. No I’m not saying sterilization or anything of the such nothing at ALL like that. But when one gets involved in the actual process and facilitates a child being brought forth I think it is absolutely incumbent on them to make sure this child is wanted by both parents, it’s simply a moral issue, legality or not. As states are reacting with trying to bring forth legislation on this (Georgia and California just recently) I am beyond relieved in my heart to know that you and other RE’s care enough about the outcome of their work, the life of a CHILD, to act in a LOVING and responsible manner towards preventing a possible tragedy.

Nice basketball touch :) Just think, as soon as the child is old enough, he or she can throw hoops with a father who wanted him.

]]> By: IVF-MD http://fertilityfile.com/2009/02/24/checking-up-to-see-if-patients-are-telling-the-truth/comment-page-1/#comment-3514 IVF-MD Wed, 25 Feb 2009 06:36:38 +0000 http://fertilityfile.com/?p=496#comment-3514 Haha. Well, I AM obligated to confirm that both partners are on board for the upcoming cycle. Since the wife is the one carrying the babies, she is definitely on board. Many other programs require a notarized signature. I chose the option that was easier for the patient. I either have to call the husband to convince myself that he is aware OR get his consent form notarized. I figure it's less inconvenient (and a little more reassuring) for me to call him and chat for 3 min than to force them to go find a notary which would take them at least 20 minutes of their time. To take the paranoia further, somebody wrote me just now and (jokingly) asked me how I knew that I really spoke with the husband and not somebody with a male voice masquerading as such. That's why I talked to him about basketball and something specific about the Lakers that we had discussed during their previous cycle. Due diligence only goes so far. You could argue that for the couples in which the husband came to see me in person, how do I know that the man who came in with them was not somebody disguised as their husband? Arrgh. :) Haha. Well, I AM obligated to confirm that both partners are on board for the upcoming cycle. Since the wife is the one carrying the babies, she is definitely on board. Many other programs require a notarized signature. I chose the option that was easier for the patient. I either have to call the husband to convince myself that he is aware OR get his consent form notarized. I figure it’s less inconvenient (and a little more reassuring) for me to call him and chat for 3 min than to force them to go find a notary which would take them at least 20 minutes of their time. To take the paranoia further, somebody wrote me just now and (jokingly) asked me how I knew that I really spoke with the husband and not somebody with a male voice masquerading as such. That’s why I talked to him about basketball and something specific about the Lakers that we had discussed during their previous cycle. Due diligence only goes so far. You could argue that for the couples in which the husband came to see me in person, how do I know that the man who came in with them was not somebody disguised as their husband? Arrgh. :)

]]> By: MLO http://fertilityfile.com/2009/02/24/checking-up-to-see-if-patients-are-telling-the-truth/comment-page-1/#comment-3513 MLO Wed, 25 Feb 2009 04:52:29 +0000 http://fertilityfile.com/?p=496#comment-3513 Not that it was relevant for DH and I, but all of our clinics required us to determine who owned the embryos created prior to starting a cycle. I was under the impression that this was done in most cases. I realize that REs are feeling jumpy, but I think your behavior was a bit, well, paranoid. Most men don't necessarily want to be at every consult. But, I can understand the feeling in the current environment. Not that it was relevant for DH and I, but all of our clinics required us to determine who owned the embryos created prior to starting a cycle. I was under the impression that this was done in most cases.

I realize that REs are feeling jumpy, but I think your behavior was a bit, well, paranoid. Most men don’t necessarily want to be at every consult. But, I can understand the feeling in the current environment.

]]>